Offering Condolences

Introduction to Offering Condolences

Writing words of condolence in a letter or card is the traditional means of offering support to the bereaved.
A sympathy or condolence note provides a simple way of letting the recipient know that they are in your thoughts, as they go through the difficult process of mourning and grief.

Guidelines for Writing Messages of Sympathy
● Don't delay - compose your message of sympathy immediately and write it from the heart; don't leave it until after the bereaved person has come to terms with the death and is trying to move on.

● Do write your sympathy message by hand, on tasteful stationery; avoid typing on a piece of printer paper.

● Include a favourite memory of the deceased.

● Mention the bereaved individual's personal strengths or special qualities, not just those of the deceased.

● Offer general help or to take over a chore or duty for a while.

What to Say
Expressing the right words at such an emotional time is not easy. Below are some words and phrases that can assist you in making a start.
● "I would like to express my sincerest condolences on the recent passing of X. My family also send their thoughts and prayers to you and your family at this difficult time".

● "X was such a lovely person and I was deeply saddened to hear of his/her passing. He/She will be hugely missed. Please pass on my sympathy to your entire family".

● "I know I join with so many others who knew X in offering our deepest sympathy on his/her passing. Although difficult for you to acknowledge at this sad time, it should be of great strength to you to know that in his/her passing you can celebrate the end of a wonderful life".

Other Services
Additionally, you may wish to add your condolences online. A range of services is available which allows you to share and celebrate those memories with relatives and friends around the world.

Finally, you may also wish to send a floral spray to the bereaved. White Arum lilies and oriental lilies are particularly appropriate. Alternatively, a rose bush can serve as a more permanent reminder of the bereaved. A more recent approach is to send a collection of seeds to be planted in a memorial garden.

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