Overwhelming Feelings of Guilt Accompany This Decision
Many of us who have animal companions know that there will probably come a day when we have to make one of the most difficult decisions as a pet owner. Our pets age before our eyes, and we can see the difference in their activity levels and abilities as they grow older. The decision to euthanize our pet can bring on feelings of guilt and pain that add to the grief we already feel about the loss of our animal companion.
Although grief is a normal process, euthanasia adds a complexity that often includes guilt or doubt. Learning how to work through this difficult decision can bring us to a peace and clarity, thus making our healing journey easier and possibly more meaningful.
Remember that You Know Your Animal Companion Best
The first thing to remember when you have to face this difficult decision is that you are the one who knows your pet best. Asking others for advice is normal, but ultimately you need to trust your own knowledge of your animal to make the right decision for him or her. It may help to ask your veterinarian and friends for information so that you feel informed, but you will know best if it is time. Be wary of those who will want you to do it “their” way. Everyone has a valid opinion, but when it comes to recognizing your pet’s needs and cues, you are the expert, so your opinion matters most.
Sometimes people may tell you that euthanasia is an unnatural way for your pet to pass on, but really we treat our pets “unnaturally” every day by providing prepared foods, using medicine, giving them vaccinations, and providing other ways to keep them healthy and alive for longer than any animal in the wild. We defy nature every day with our pets, and often euthanasia is much more humane than what nature would do to our pets.
Is it Time to Euthanize Your Pet?
While listening to others can be helpful, so can listening to your pet. Each of us is intuitive, and you would be amazed at how much you actually communicate with your pet without even realizing it. Take time to sit down and relax deeply next to your animal companion. Take a few deep breaths, and quiet your mind. Think about connecting to your pet’s heart and mind. Tell your animal how much you love him or her, and then ask a question silently. Allow some time and space for a response. It may not be in the form of direct communication, but rather with images, or fleeting thoughts. Open your eyes and write down any thoughts, images, and feelings from that time. This exercise can give you more clarity than you think. If you feel that you are not able to make this connection yourself, you may want to speak with a pet psychic or animal communicator. Ask friends or your vet for a referral.
If you are still not confident about a decision, it is sometimes helpful to ask yourself about what regrets you will have. Will you regret more the euthanasia or letting your pet suffer? Which is more humane to you? Also, before you make a decision you also need to give your companion animal permission to let go. Sometimes our pets hold on in order to protect us. Let them know that it is okay for them to let go of life and that you will be fine. Let them know you will be sad for some time, but that ultimately you will heal and make good choices for a healthy and happy future. I have known of people who had this discussion with their pets, and the animal died on its own, and didn’t need to be euthanized.
Ways to Help Yourself If You Do Decide to Use Euthanasia
If you ultimately make the decision to assist your pet to die, make sure you do not do it alone. The process can be overwhelming at the time, so having another person there to support you can be helpful. There are some veterinarians who will come to your house to administer the injection, saving you and your animal a trip in the car and further trauma. If you do take your pet to a clinical setting, understand that you have the option to be with your pet when the injection is administered, and that sometimes it is helpful to hold onto them as they pass. However, you may want to avoid looking in their eyes as they pass, because often people are haunted by the look in their pet’s eyes, as many people project their own feelings of guilt and confusion on their pet. Once again, this choice is up to you.
Planning Ahead
Also, plan ahead for what to do after the euthanasia. In your grief, the decision of how to handle the body can be extremely difficult. Know if you want to use a pet cemetery, have the body cremated, or if you want to take the body home for burial. Some people ask to take their pet’s body home, to wash them and take more time for the family to say goodbye. You can then deliver your animal’s body for cremation, or sometimes the crematorium will come to pick up the body.
Planning ahead, you may also opt for a memorial service or funeral. This can be something attended only by you and your family, or you may also choose to invite friends as well. More and more, these types of services are being held and can be helpful in working through your grief.
Making the decision to euthanize a pet can be extremely difficult and disconcerting. Learn to trust what you know about your pet to make your decision. When they are gone, know that you made the right decision for them at the time and that there are no right or wrong decisions. Your pet did not judge you in life, nor will your pet judge you afterward. Be as gentle with yourself as you know your pet would be with you. Your pet’s love was unconditional, and that love will remain with you through the rest of your life.
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