What's the Best Way to Pay a Business Owner's Estate Taxes?

A critical element to business succession planning is making certain the business owner’s estate will have the cash to pay estate taxes without having to sell the business. This article will examine the advantages and disadvantages of four such commonly used techniques – IRC Section 6166, IRC Section 303, Graegin loans, and life insurance.

IRC Section 6166

IRC Section 6166 permits the legal representative of the business owner’s estate to pay the portion of the estate tax attributable to the business in installments. During the first four years, interest only is due. Thereafter, annual installments of both interest and principal are due over 10 years.

While Section 6166 can be useful, it does have several drawbacks. First, in order to qualify under Section 6166, the business interest must exceed 35% of the business owner’s adjusted gross estate. Second, interest accrues at the rate of 2% on the deferred tax on the first $1,340,000 (indexed for inflation) of the business interest in excess of the applicable estate tax exclusion amount. But the interest rate on the deferred tax in excess of that amount bears interest at 45% of the rate applicable for tax underpayments (i.e., the short-term applicable federal rate plus 3% adjusted quarterly). Moreover, the interest paid under IRC Section 6166 does not qualify as an administration expense and is not deductible on either the estate tax return (Form 706) or on the estate’s income tax return (Form 1041). Third, the IRS can place a tax lien on the business until all installment payments are met. This lien may make it difficult for the business to borrow from banks and other lenders. Finally, the IRS can demand immediate payment of all unpaid taxes if the estate misses one scheduled payment, or if there is a sale or exchange of one-half or more of the business.

IRC Section 303

IRC Section 303 permits heirs to get cash out of a corporation (either a C corporation or an S corporation) with minimal or no income tax consequences to the extent needed to pay federal and state death taxes, costs of estate administration, and funeral expenses. Thus, Section 303 can help an estate escape a forced sale of the business to pay estate taxes, without having a partial stock redemption taxed as a dividend.

But Section 303 is not without its disadvantages. First, the stock’s value must exceed 35% of the deceased shareholder’s adjusted gross estate to qualify. Second, where will the cash to redeem the decedent’s stock come from? The corporation may not have excess cash with which to redeem stock. And, if the corporation attempts to accumulate cash to redeem stock, it may be subject to a 15% accumulated earnings tax. IRC Sections 531-537. Finally, like any other redemption, a Section 303 redemption can alter the ownership percentages of the surviving shareholders.

Graegin Loans

In Graegin v Commissioner, 56 T.C.M. 387 (1988), the Tax Court allowed an estate to deduct (as an administration expense on the estate tax return) the interest on a loan used to pay estate taxes. In Graegin, the estate consisted mostly of closely-held stock and had very little liquidity. So, instead of selling stock; or redeeming stock under IRC Section 303; or paying the estate tax on installments under IRC Section 6166, the estate borrowed the funds to pay estate taxes from a wholly-owned subsidiary of the closely-held corporation.

The note provided that all principal and accrued interest was due in a single balloon payment at the end of the note term, and neither principal nor interest could be prepaid. The Tax Court allowed the estate to deduct the entire balloon interest payment. Of significance is that the amount of interest payable be certain. Therefore, the note cannot permit prepayment of interest or principal. In addition, in order for the balloon interest to be deductible, the estate must show that it had no way of paying estate taxes other than the forced sale of illiquid assets. Otherwise, the interest payment is not a reasonable and necessary administration expense. See PLR 200513028 (Sept. 15, 2004).

Unfortunately, the Tax Court in Estate of Black v Commissioner, 133 T.C. No. 15 (Dec. 18, 2009), struck a blow to Graegin loans. In Black, the estate entered into a Graegin-type loan with an FLP. The Tax Court ruled that the loan was not “necessarily incurred” within the meaning of Treas. Reg. Sec. 20.2053-3(a) and, therefore, the interest (approximately $20,296,274) was not a deductible administration expense under IRC Section 2053(a)(2). The Tax Court found that the FLP could have redeemed the estate’s partnership interest shortly after the taxpayer’s death in order to provide the funds with which to pay the estate tax. This fact rendered the loan unnecessary. The Tax Court also emphasized that the decedent’s son stood on both sides of the loan – as the general partner of the FLP and the executor of the estate. But, it’s not clear from the Tax Court’s ruling whether the outcome would have been different if an independent party had served as the executor.

The problem with the Tax Court’s reasoning in Black is that, had the FLP redeemed the estate’s partnership interest shortly after the deceased partner’s death, the IRS would likely have included in the decedent’s estate any partnership interests gifted during the decedent’s lifetime. In Estate of Erickson v Commissioner, T.C.M. 2007-107, an FLP provided funds for the payment of the deceased partner’s estate tax liabilities. The Tax Court in Erickson reasoned that this was tantamount to making funds available to the decedent resulting in retained enjoyment and, thus, estate tax inclusion under IRC Section 2036(a)(1).

Life Insurance

The complexity and potential challenges of using Section 6166, Section 303, or Graegin loans, reinforces the advantages of using an irrevocable life insurance trust (“ILIT”) to pay estate taxes. An ILIT offers the following advantages:

1. The accumulation of cash values is not subject to current income taxation; the trustee can access cash values tax free (by surrendering to basis and/or borrowing); and the death proceeds are not subject to income taxes.

2. Gifts of life insurance premiums of up to $13,000 ($26,000 if married) can qualify for the annual gift tax exclusion, thereby avoiding current gift taxes.

3. Gifts of life insurance premiums also decrease the grantor-insured’s estate, potentially lowering federal estate taxes.

4. For two reasons, the internal rate of return for most insureds will be favorable compared to alternative investments. First, in the case of a premature death, the insurance policy produces an unparallel return on investment. Second, since the death benefit is income tax free, the projected rate of return is enhanced. The internal rate of return can be calculated and easily illustrated by the insurance advisor.

5. Finally, life insurance provides the business owner’s estate the liquidity it needs exactly when it’s needed, regardless of whether the estate qualifies under Section 6166, Section 303, or Graegin. The death proceeds received by the ILIT can be used to purchase assets from the business owner’s estate or to loan funds to the estate or to the business directly.

An ILIT can also play a role in the other strategies discussed above. For example, if at the time of the business owner’s death the estate qualifies under Section 6166 and the interest rates are favorable, paying the estate tax in installments may prove useful. But, if the estate subsequently runs into problems paying the installments, the ILIT can assist by purchasing assets from the estate or loaning funds to the estate on favorable terms.

The same is true with a Section 303 redemption. Assuming the estate qualifies for Section 303 treatment, but the corporation does not have sufficient cash to redeem the deceased shareholder’s shares. The ILIT could loan a portion of the death proceeds to the corporation to help it consummate the redemption. This is preferable to having the corporation be the owner and beneficiary of the policy, thereby increasing the value of the business for estate tax purposes.

Finally, if the ILIT loans the business owner’s estate the funds it needs to pay estate taxes and structures the loan to be a Graegin loan, the estate may qualify to deduct all of the balloon interest (as an administration expense). Of course, this assumes that the IRS does not successfully challenge the loan under the rationale of the Black case.

In summary, an ILIT is a popular and effective tool to help meet the estate liquidity needs of a business owner. Due to its tax-advantaged status, an ILIT is an ideal way – standing alone or in conjunction with other planning opportunities – to fund estate taxes, thereby assuring that the family business stays in the family.

THIS ARTICLE MAY NOT BE USED FOR PENALTY PROTECTION. THE MATERIAL IS BASED UPON GENERAL TAX RULES AND FOR INFORMATION PURPOSES ONLY. IT IS NOT INTENDED AS LEGAL OR TAX ADVICE AND TAXPAYERS SHOULD CONSULT THEIR OWN LEGAL AND TAX ADVISORS AS TO THEIR SPECIFIC SITUATION.

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How To Make Thank You Cards

Have you received an unexpected good deed recently?

You may want to show your gratitude and appreciation for the aide, support, or assistance by making thank you cards and sending them to your good Samaritans.

Making thank you cards does not require much of your time. If you have a few extra hours, use these to make thank you cards. At home, you can create thank you cards using available materials. You may have paper stock on hand. If not, you can always visit a supply store near you to make a purchase. For printing, your desktop printer can help you in production. If you are adept in computer applications, making the design template for thank you cards can come easy for you. Design software and computer applications you can use include Microsoft Publisher, which is perfect for beginners, and Adobe Photoshop, Corel Draw and Illustrator which can allow you to create unique custom-made design templates.

If you are wondering how to create thank you cards, here are the simple guidelines that can help you out.

Define the design theme for your thank you cards. You may want to create a design template that would be appreciated by your receivers. You may want to take a cue from the help provided to you or the result of what the good deed has offered you. Brainstorm with people you know as to how to create appealing thank you cards.

Once you have finalized the design theme, you now need to start working on the template. From what you have in mind, plot the design using the design software you have chosen. Make sure that you stick to the design theme, but do make room for improvement. Otherwise, you can just drop your work and start all over again. Delays and setbacks may be avoided if you already know what you want for your thank you cards.

Have the design elements ready for use. As you may be using design elements, such as images and patterns, you have to keep a file of these on your computer for easy access. You can download these over the internet, too. If you want to create added appeal, you can also make use of font styles and brushes. Use full color printing if you make use of these interesting design elements.

Make a print sample once you are done working with the design template. Your print sample will allow you to find errors that need to be edited before the file is sent to the printer.

Aside from using your inkjet printer, you can get the services of a commercial printer. These printers can be found in your area, but you can also get one from the internet. If you choose the latter, you will need to upload the file, but make sure that more or less, the design template is 100 per cent complete and error free. Do not worry though if there are some considerations. There are in house designers that can tweak the design template. These online printers can be trusted. Just make sure though that the one you choose is reputable. Take time learning about what the capabilities of these online printers are. Choose one that satisfies your specifications. You should check the price, the quality, and the services they provide.

For comments and inquiries about the article visit: http://www.printplace.com/printing/thank-you-cards.aspx

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Child Duvet Cover - Versatile and Exciting Bedding for Children

A child duvet cover is an excellent way of adding variety and interest to the décor of your child’s bedroom. Simply changing to a new duvet cover can change the look of your child’s room and recapture your child’s joy in sleeping and playing there. Duvet covers serve the convenient and practical purpose of protecting the comforter on your child’s bed from stains and spills while also serving as a decoration and unique expression of your child’s personality. Changing a duvet cover and thus changing the theme of your child’s room is as easy as unzipping and removing one cover and replacing it with another.


Duvet covers come in a variety of colors and themes. Above all, a child duvet cover should be easy to care for. The best duvet covers are those that are 100% cotton and machine washable to eliminate frequent and expensive trips to the dry cleaners. With a lapped zipper opening on the back bottom of the duvet, these duvet covers are easy to place over your child’s comforter and easy to remove. Reversible duvet covers allow for extended use between washings.


There is a child duvet cover out there for every child. Duvet covers come in a range of colors and themes will appeal to children of all ages and interests, from the whimsical BeBop Turquoise and Strawberry Cordial Pink to the more serious Tartan Red. Carefully selected designs and themes will captivate your child’s interest and imagination. Animal lovers will be happy to go to sleep with an African Safari, Java Giraffe, or Rain Forest Frogs duvet cover. If your little girl is a tomboy, she will love a Rhinestone Cowgirl duvet cover. A Muscle Cars duvet cover will let your little boy can keep on playing with his toy cars in his imagination when he goes to bed.


Look for duvet covers that are affordable and easily laundered. It makes sense to buy two or three duvet covers for your child’s bed. That way, your child’s comforter does not have to go “bare” while one duvet cover sits in the laundry basket. You can simply zip on a spare child duvet cover. In fact, you can switch duvet covers as frequently as you like in order to reflect your child’s changing interests or to update the décor of your child’s room with the changing seasons.

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Doctor Settles Malpractice Lawsuit With Mother Of Baby Who Died During Pregnancy For $650,000

A woman who had been dealing with hypertension for a number of years reaches the decision that she and her husband want to have a baby. After learning of the pregnancy, she met with her primary care physician who sent her to an obstetrician. When she meets with the obstetrician, the doctor decides that she should try to control her hypertension by diet alone given that her medication could have a harmful effect on her child in the early stages of her pregnancy. Yet, the obstetrician could not keep the woman's blood pressure within the normal levels, so her primary care physician and obstetrician agreed to prescriber her one-half of her normal dose.

Despite the mother taking medication for her hypertension, she starts to suffer from headaches, nausea, vomiting and blurred vision, which progressively become more frequent throughout her pregnancy.

When she goes into her doctor's office, he continues to note elevated blood pressure and gives her a higher dose of medication in an attempt to lower her blood pressure. Despite her best efforts in meeting with the doctor to correct these issues, her symptoms get progressively worse and happened more frequently as her pregnancy progresses. In her later visits it is noted that she has begun to leak amniotic fluid, which can be very dangerous.

After the ultrasound, the physician informed the woman that the leakage was not significant and she shouldn't worry. He did not inform her that the nutritional levels in her womb had gone down and that it could have an effect on her baby. The doctor did not inform her that her child was at risk to experience problems related to fetal hypoxia (being deprived of an adequate oxygen supply). And, moreover, he did not conduct any tests on the baby to see how the baby was doing.

After this visit the mother is still suffering from sever headaches, begins to have sinus problems in her ears and becomes worried as she becomes aware her child is not moving much. At her next appointment tells her doctor, who decides to induce labor the following week. despite her concerns over waiting another week, the obstetrician downplays the mother's fears and sets up an appointment for her for the following week.

The following week the woman went into her doctor's office to have her child. Following the ultrasound, the technician, began to act strangely, handed her the video and immediately left the room. One of the nurses brought her into a small room, which was not regular exam room. There her physician advised her that her baby did not have a heart beat. She was brought to a hospital and the death was verified. After this she has to endure going through labor, knowing her baby was dead. She and her husband held their dead baby girl and emotionally planned her funeral. Following this event the mother and her husband filed a malpractice case against the physician, requesting damages relating to the death of their baby, including emotional distress. After filing the claims against the doctor, the law firm handling the matter reported that they were successful in reaching a settlement for $650,000 on behalf of the couple for the death of their baby and the emotional distress they suffered.

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5 Ways to Make Money Playing Guitar

For those of us who are lucky enough to call ourselves guitar players, here is a quick list of a few things you can do to make a living with your music. To make a living playing guitar, you must become self-motivated, and make sure your material is "up to snuff." You must also be able to promote your services like crazy, since most gigs won't just fall in your lap. Take out ads, hand out fliers, play some free gigs, and build name recognition. Stay focused and be persistent. Some of these things may not coincide with the style of music you like to play the most, but it is probably better to play a bit of music that you may not particularly love in order to be better suited to selling your services. The following is a list of ways for guitarists to make money:

1. Play Solo Gigs. If you can play and sing, you can offer your services to restaurants, bars, events, corporate functions, parties, etc. You could try busking, but make sure to check with any local laws surrounding buskers and suitable locations. Make sure your music is appropriate for each situation, and it is recommended that you learn many popular songs since solo acts tend to get many requests. You can even throw in your originals and sell CDs on the side if it is appropriate to do so.

2. Start a Band. I'm sure everyone has a dream of starting a great band, signing a record deal, touring the world and getting rich. Well, this is not the type of band I am talking about. Why not make a few bucks playing gigs at parties or bars? Get a few good musicians to join your band, learn a few sets of popular Top 40 style hits and start marketing your services as a bar band. Or, start an acoustic duo and market yourselves to bars and restaurants with patios. Once you build recognition as solid performers, you will be able to make a decent night's wage for sitting around playing simple guitar songs all night.

3. Play at Weddings. Most people cringe when this is recommended, but wedding gigs are some of the highest paying gigs for the least amount of work. You must make sure your music is polished, or risk a bad reputation, but you get bonus points if you can make the attendants cry! It is easy to make a few hundred dollars for about 2 hour's work, and you usually only play one hour's worth of material! Learn hymns and love songs for solo finger-style or classical guitar, partner up with a singer or violinist, or get another guitarist to play the melody, while you play the chords (or vice versa).

4. Play at Funerals. Most people hate funerals and Funeral Homes, so this niche is quite open for musicians. If you are the type that can handle the atmosphere, perhaps this is and area worth investigating. Mourners are looking for sentimental music to lift their spirits or create an atmosphere for the funeral, so make sure your music is appropriate and, once again, perfected.

5. Teach Lessons. This is a quite obvious one, but it is surprising how few people take this seriously. Music lessons are a great way to make a steady income, taught either at your home or at a local music shop/school. Put ads out in the local newspaper or online and try to spread the word as much as you can. Run your lessons as a business, taking payments up front and making sure your lessons studio looks professional. Teach students what you know, answer questions, and try to keep them interested.



Some of you guitarists out there may be thinking that playing hymns at funerals, or love songs at weddings, or even top-40 music at bars, is like selling out since it isn't the style of music you like. Well, even though you may not particularly have a passion for Ave Maria, Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring or Sweet Caroline, it is probably safe to say that playing guitar as a job, ANY style of guitar, is much more fulfilling and enjoyable than working a 9-5 job doing something else. Ask yourself this question: "Would I rather make my wages working 40 hours at a job I hate, or make the same amount, or more, playing guitar for a few hours a week?" Which one did you choose?







Jonathan J. Brett is a full-time professional guitarist, teacher, and business owner. He has been actively learning and teaching the guitar for over 12 years, and has earned his degree in music on guitar. He also performs professionally, playing classical and finger-style guitar at weddings and events.

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Bereavement - How To Deal With Grief

Bereavement – Understanding and coping with Grief.

Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them - Tolstoy

In truth, no written words can ‘cure’ someone suffering with the loss of somebody whom they love.

Grief cannot be ‘cured’ anyway, but it can eventually stop being as painful as you find yourself coming to terms and ‘moving on’. But how long will this take? This is an impossible question to answer and relies on many, many factors. One thing that I am sure of though is that it is better to travel the journey with someone to support you than to do it alone.

Perhaps you are asking ‘why has he written this article if he cannot stop the horrible feelings of loss, feelings of hopelessness and depression?’ Well, that’s a fair question and the answer is that I can help you to understand the grief process that you, and everyone at times in their lives, has to go through. By understanding this, you should be better able to deal with the strong negative emotions that you must feel. Also, recognising that it is a process gives hope to the idea that it will end in spite of how you may be feeling currently.

The primary purposes of this article are therefore to

1) Offer the reader and understanding and therefore help in dealing with the natural and painful process of grieving.

2) To reassure you that the emotional and physical reactions that you may be going through are normal and perhaps even necessary.

3) To explain why help will be of great benefit in supporting and guiding you through the stages of the grieving process and what form the help takes.

It has been written by me, as a Psychotherapist , and will hopefully be of interest and benefit to several types of readers:

a) Someone who has had a recent loss and is finding it hard to come to terms with it.

b) Someone who is anticipating a loss fairly soon and wishes to prepare for it.

c)Someone who has had a loss sometime ago and feels that they are still not over the pain.

Before we begin looking into this important process, I need to clarify a couple of things.

Firstly, what is grief? We can define it as the psychological reaction to loss. We usually think of the death of someone dear to us, but we also grieve for any loss in our lives that we consider significant.

These losses could include the loss of our own childhood if this was unpleasant, divorce, having a miscarriage or losing your job etc.

The first part of this article will introduce some background topics that will help give an understanding as to why this natural process can be so difficult.

Background

The process of grieving is a natural part of the human life experience. It is experienced differently by each of us and is affected by many factors which include culture, beliefs and the other loss experiences that we have had.

However, being a natural process is not enough to ensure that we are able to come to terms with our loss and ‘move on’ to adjust our lives and begin to function effectively again. Western society has been in a state of constant change for many years. This in itself offers stress and anxiety for many individuals. It has impacted on all aspects of our lives which includes the way we view matters such as grieving.

Social changes have seen a decline in what used to be support structures. Families used to live very near to each other, religion was strong and central to many communities, our local doctors knew us and understood us, good neighbours and others in the local community would be available to help in times of need. The decline of these support structures often means that we are (feel) more isolated thereby limiting our opportunities to share and express our emotion.

Are you able to openly show you feelings? Generally, men find this more difficult than women, at least in western society. Men are often raised being told nonsense such as “big boys don’t cry”, “real men keep their emotions under control” etc. Bottling it all up is not healthy. It is at the funeral that men can often allow themselves to cry just a bit.

Funerals play a very important part in saying goodbye and in the acceptance of the fact that a loved one is no longer part of our physical lives. You will also be able to look at the life of the deceased and see him or her in terms of celebrating that life rather than focusing on their death and absence. However, these often take place too soon after a death and can be perceived as a hurried affair. The friends and relatives attending the service will be good for you due to the support they offer, but after the service and follow up function, they leave perhaps taking with them that support.

This ‘hurried’, ‘compacted’ activity contributes to a your having a shorter time to fully grieve than is necessary.

Other difficulties include the way that friends, relatives and work colleagues relate to you. Perhaps they are too sympathetic, perhaps they avoid the subject (or you) altogether, perhaps they irritate by saying empty, albeit well meaning phrases like, “ I know exactly how you feel......”, “time is a great healer..”etc..

So let’s have a look at the process in more detail.

The field of grief counselling has benefited greatly from many dedicated and inspired researchers such as Elizabeth Kubler Ross, J William Worden. Their work and the contribution of clinical experience have shown that all loss has to go through stages. As previously mentioned, there is no fixed timescale involved as we are all affected by grief differently. How we react also depends greatly on the nature and circumstances of the death, but in general:

Shock

At this stage it has not yet been accepted that the death is real. Perhaps your sub conscious is protecting you to allow it to ‘sink in’ slowly so avoiding emotional overload. Others may even comment that you are coping well. You may feel ‘numbness’ and a sense of disbelief.

Separation and Pain

At this stage you may have feelings of intense pining and yearning. These emotions can ebb and flow and can often give concern and be distressing for those close to you that are witnessing this

You may find yourself asking others to reassure you that the person really has gone from your life.

You are likely to have feelings of emptiness and possibly keep ‘seeing’ the deceased.

Despair

This can be a very dark place for the person grieving as the full realisation of a life without the loved one now takes hold. Common thoughts include “what is the point of living without him/her?”, “how will I cope on my own?” You may find it difficult to function normally, become absent minded or depressed.

Acceptance

When you have passed through the previous stages you will start to believe in the possibility of ‘moving on’. This will initially be intellectual acceptance as there will still be emotional mood swings and depressions at times. Anniversaries, birthdays and other special times may still give problems for a time. Resuming a social life may give rise to feelings of guilt that your life is moving on or that others may think that you have now forgotten the deceased.

Resolution and re-organisation

Having got to this stage, you will now be able to discuss your loved person with others and recall fond memories without becoming upset. You shall also be able to lead a full social life without feelings of guilt.

Feelings, behaviours, thoughts and physical responses on your journey

Let’s have a look at some of the above. By being aware and exploring these sensations, may help you to realise that these are normal responses and ones that you can work through.

Feelings:

Anger, perhaps at the person who has left you. Certainly, God regularly gets an ear bashing!

Guilt, perhaps at having anger, perhaps because you have survived, perhaps you don’t know why.

Anxiety: For those having experienced an unexpected death of a loved one, you are now plunged into an uncertain future and may have concerns as to how you will cope, ever be happy again or perhaps even exist.

Emptiness, aching, loneliness as you are constantly reminded of their absence.

Tiredness/fatigue are very common symptoms which perhaps slow us down a bit and help with the healing process.

Yearning is yet another common and perfectly natural occurrence. As you move toward acceptance, this need will lessen.

Other common signs: Confusion, worries about not saying goodbye, obsessive thoughts about the deceased, hallucinations, sleep problems, absent mindedness and many more.

If you have religious beliefs, these can often be challenged at this difficult time. As mentioned earlier, God can be a focus for blame and unanswerable questions that can then make us feel gulty.

Pathological aspects.

You may hear this word which simply means that the grief process is perhaps excessive in its intensity say, resulting in certain types of behaviour or symptoms. These could include:

Quite severe depression

Difficulties in talking about the deceased without intense emotional reaction.

Excessive euphoria after the death.

I do not want to dwell on these because you may start to incorrectly analyse your feelings and this is not the purpose of this article. If you beleive, or others tell you, that you are overreacting or use language that suggests this, then see a mental health professional who is best qualified to help you through.

I hope that you found this information comforting insofar as all those bereaved suffer some if not most of these ‘symptoms’. I also hope that you can begin to realise that it can be very difficult to see your own way through this ‘fog’ of negative emotion. Without support, some can become ‘stuck’ at a particular stage which is clearly undesirable. So where can support be found and what can be expected?

If you have a close and caring family this can be a great help at least at the beginning but at some point you may need professional help. This can be provided by someone from your religious community, voluntary grief workers or professional mental health professionals such as psychotherapists and grief counsellors.

What can you expect?

The person that you select to accompany you on your journey through grief should offer these qualities:

a) He/She recognises that it is your journey and that you set the pace and timescales.

b) He/She listens to you and only speaks when needed or when appropriate.

c) Offering an environment that you accept as a ‘safe place to cry’.

d) He/She travels ‘beside’ you on this painful journey, guiding gently, always supportive.

e) NEVER be judgemental.

Finding the appropriate companion for your journey of grief can be done through voluntary agencies such as Citizens Advice Bureau (UK), age support organisations, religious groups and counselling/therapy practioners which can be found in the yellow pages or online.

I wish you well on your difficult and painful journey and leave you with the knowledge that it is perfectly possible to come through this experience and to be able to get on with your life again. This does not mean that you will forget the one you have lost. You have simply adjusted your life.

David Carroll Dip CP Dip Hyp LHS
http://www.wessexwellbeing.com
email: david@wessexwelleing.com

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How To Achieve Maximum Fertility In Minimum Time

Copyright 2006 Power Marketing, Inc.

If you're thinking about getting pregnant, or trying to get pregnant already, taking care of your health is a top priority for your fertility. To help your body achieve it’s maximum fertility, take the following steps:

- Take 400 micrograms (or 0.4 mg) of folic acid daily. Focus on eating foods fortified with folic acid, take a multivitamin, or take a folic acid pill to get your daily dose. Taking a folic acid supplement is the best way to be sure you're getting enough. Including 0.4 mg of folic acid (or folate) in your diet before you get pregnant and in the first three months of pregnancy can help prevent some birth defects. If you don't get enough folic acid, your baby's spine may not form correctly. This is called spina bifida. Another thing your baby needs folic acid to develop a healthy brain. Many doctors will prescribe a multi-vitamin that contains folic acid. But the better thing to do is to buy folic acid pills at drug stores or supermarkets. Foods that are rich in folate include: leafy green vegetables, kidney beans, orange juice and other citrus fruits, peanuts, broccoli, asparagus, peas, lentils, and whole-grain products. Folic acid is also sometimes added to foods like enriched breads, pastas, rice and cereals. It’s a good idea for you to find out more about folic acid.

- Be more aware of what you eat. Start stacking your diet with fruits, vegetables, and whole-grains (such as whole-wheat breads or crackers). Be sure to eat plenty of calcium-rich foods such as non-fat or low-fat yogurt, milk, and broccoli. Your baby needs a lot of calcium for strong bones and teeth. When fruits and vegetables aren't in season, frozen vegetables are a good option. Avoid eating a lot of fatty foods (such as butter and fatty meats). Choose leaner foods when you can (such as skim milk, chicken and turkey without the skin, and fish). However, avoid eating swordfish as they contain high levels of mercury.

- Bite the bullet. If you smoke or use alcohol or drugs you have to tell your doctor about it. Quitting is hard, but your fertility will suffer if you don't. You can do it. Ask your doctor for help.

- Get plenty of sleep. Try to get seven to nine hours every night.

- Do everything you can to control the stress in your life. When it comes to work and family, figure out what you can and can not do. Set firm limits with yourself and others. Don't be afraid to say “NO” to requests for your time and energy. You may not realize it, but high stress can lower your fertility more any other factor.

- Don’t forget to move your body. Once you get pregnant, you can't increase your exercise routine by much. So it's best to start a routine before the baby is on its way.

- If you have existing health problems take steps to get them under control. Talk to your doctor about how your health problems might affect you and your baby. If you suffer from diabetes, monitor closely your blood sugar levels. If you have high blood pressure, monitor these levels as well. If you are overweight, set an appointment with your doctor and talk about how to reach a healthy weight.

- Find out what health problems run in your family. Tell these to your doctor. You can get tested for health problems that run in families before getting pregnant (genetic testing).

- Make sure you have had all of your immunization shots, especially for Rubella (German measles). If you haven't had chickenpox or rubella already, get the shots at least three months before getting pregnant. Having either of these diseases after childhood can render you infertile.

- Get checked for hepatitis B and C, sexually transmitted diseases, and HIV. These infections can be harmful to you and your baby. Tell your doctor if you or your sex partners have ever had an STD or HIV.

- To protect your fertility go over all of the medicines you take with your doctor, including prescription drugs, over-the-counter, and herbal medicine. Make sure they are safe to take while you're trying to get pregnant or are pregnant.

Taking each of the steps will help you to get your body ready for maximum fertility, and eliminate things that could possibly cause infertility. Check them off one at a time and get ready for baby.

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